Snort This.

If it's true that humans have 3000 thoughts a day, is it possible that over 2000 of mine are associated with wine? Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it's not only possible, it has me leaning on the right side of, ah... savant-like behaviour people.  I am what many would call... gifted.

And apparently, though it is even rarer than the savant condition itself, some savants have no evident abnormalities other than their unique abilities.  How-a-bout that folks?  Rare indeed.

Yes, after all these years of racking my soft little gray matter, trying to find something I was good at, it hit me.  And you know what?   I am a very good, no scratch that.  I am an excellent wine sniffer, drinker, over-imbiber.  That's me, a wine phenomenon. 

Because I'm in the company of some real wine snobbery, I thought, what the heck self.  "Why don't you define your own algorithm's?"  Give that pretentious lot something to gauge their own "hoity-toity, big whip Parkeresque" types against.  So, with that said, I came up with my own rating system and it's geared around the new economy.  Yeah, we aren't wasting a whole lotta time of sniffing and swirling, (although, early on, there was a great deal of snorting.)  We are getting busy.  Getting down to the art of drinking crap, crap that years ago we wouldn't have given as gifts.  But that was back in the days when I didn't roll outta bed for less than a bottle of Starlane.

Key:

dead to me. 

hold breath, swallow.

new economy wine
(that is correct, formerly only fit to cook with)

getting really happy.  getting in a good mood.
 (worthy of "date" wine)

take off all your clothes.
(fondly referred to as, "Hello Lover")

Once the imprint from the cuffs wore off, and the horrid smell of the holding cell had dissipated, I had time to reflect on just what exactly happened to me at that concert Sunday night and all I can say is, "Blame it on the wine."  The last thing I remember, right before all the commotion was Sweet Baby James singing, "How sweet it is to be loved by you."


And then I thought, "Release the hounds." Yeah, it's never a real good idea to wear your emotions on your sleeve or to let loose while under the influence!

Oh well, what is done, is done. I certainly can't "unring that bell" and frankly, I don't think I'd want to either! Besides, James was most gracious about the whole thing and I secretly think that if security hadn't intervened, well... let's just say, things may have been different.


But I thought I'd share with you the wine that almost had me wearing one of those orange jump suits with the words, "CORRECTIONS" on the back.  It is my latest obsession, (Other than Mr. Taylor) a fine wine called Adobe Road 2005 Syrah. This stuff can be had for under $25 bucks (Wine Barn) and believe me, in that price range, it packs a punch (as witnessed on Sunday evening). Wine Spectator gives this wine 92 points- which is a range I am most happy to be found drinking! This wine has got a lot of personality. It's rich with spices and deep luscious plum and blueberries. It is well balanced, but be careful, as it can certainly knock you off your balance when consumed in certain quantities. And based on my personal experiences, I’d have to describe this wine as a "Man Magnet". I mean, after all, I  sorta made out with superstar James Taylor and that has never happened to me while drinking Jack and diet. If you get the opportunity to try this wine, you may soon find yourself belting out, “Well I'm a steamroller baby. I wanna roll all over you. Yes I'm a steamroller for your love, babe ..."  And only then ,will what happened to me make any sense!